Joyful Mother

Schooling Our Boys

I am loving schooling our boys! It is so fun to see more of their personalities develop as time goes on. For example, we learned pretty early on that William loves to draw and is pretty good at it! Of course, as his mom, I think so but so do others!! He is learning to read and I am often challenged to try and explain to him why the English language doesn't always make sense.

Jonathan is kindergarten and I often have to remind myself that despite his size, he is still a five year old. He knows his letter, sounds and numbers but his motor skills are not fully developed and he still doesn't care that much for writing. However he can read three letter words and finds it easier than William did in Kindergarten. His bent seems to be numbers - just in the past month or so he has started asking how much things add up to be and he must be memorizing them or something because he can answer those sums when asked again. His curriculum doesn't add simple addition until first grade so I've been giving him extra things to do - I guess it all balances out!

They are learning a lot and what's more - they are enjoying it! We like having a definite summer break but we will be doing activities that will insure that the learning continues!!!

Tuesday Fun Day

My hubby went into work yesterday only to call home and tell me that they weren't able to start the job until today - and did I want to go get a new comforter for our bedroom?  We all bundled up and when he got home, we headed for the mall.  We found a comforter that we liked at Sears and were prepared to also buy an exercise bike there but the sales associate talked him out of it.  He was very honest and told Dick that the particular bike we picked out wasn't very good and all that they sold had been returned.  He suggested we go across the street to Dick's Sporting Goods and for about $50 more we could get a very nice bike - so we did!

Here's another picture that my sister Elizabeth took last Saturday.  This one is me, Jennifer and Jessica - Elizabeth takes great pictures!!

Apples To Apples, Works For Me!

A week and a half ago, when I went to Nashville to meet up with some of the WAH girls, we spent some time playing a game called Apples to Apples.  I'm sure it was a combination of who I was playing and the game itself that provided such a hilarious time!  Have you ever heard of it?  I thought it was new but it actually came out in the 90's.  If you are having a party and need a fun game to play - this one is it!!

How do you play?  Each player receives seven "red apple" cards on which each is printed a noun or noun phrase.  The judge (each player takes turns) draws a "green apple" card on which is printed an adjective.  From each players red apple cards, each player chooses a card that they think is the best match for the adjective.  The judge decides which noun is the best match for the adjective.  The judge's decision is completely subject and often picks the card that is most creative, humorous, etc.  Some might think it is funny if "bubbles" is picked for "touch-feely" and some may not!

Believe me, you just need to give it a try!!

Closer Than Your Skin

It's no secret that fiction is my preferred type of reading; so much so that I rarely make time to read anything else.  Not so with this book:  Closer Than Your Skin:  Unwrapping the Mystery of Intimacy With God.  I am still in the process of reading this book but it will be one that I finish.  I find it very interesting and relevant to my life.

The author, Susan Hill, traces her discovery of a vibrant companionship with God and shows how it can become an everyday reality for anyone.  Through stirring stories from her life, she assures readers that knowing God is more than spiritual rhetoric; it's reality for those who learn to recognize His voice.

More Family Pictures

Me & My Hubby




Delaney and William
Cousins

National Kidney Foundation Fun Walk

On April 27th I will be participating in a Fun Walk for the National Kidney Foundation with my mom - who is one of the team captains. To participate, I have to raise $100. I am thinking this won't be too difficult to do, especially if my friends would like to donate. Although large donations are welcomed, I will also be happy with $1 and $5 donations (and the numbers in between). I won't be collecting until after I walk but if you want to donate, please let me know.

If you've been reading my blog for any amount of time, you probably know that my mom is about to finish up her first year on dialysis. She has an inherited disease called Polycystic Kidney Disease and I have been diagnosed with it as well. So, this walk is of special importance to us and our family (my cousin also has PKD). Thanks!

My Lovely Sister Jennifer

Most of my family got together today in Tennessee for lunch (Elizabeth was there but her family was not). We had a very good time and I'm glad we made the effort to do it. We always take a lot of pictures but I got a little video happy with my camera. Most everyone smiled nicely and then looked away but not Jennifer. She loves it when a camera is on her, LOL! This is classic Jennifer - what you see is what you get!!

Spring Anyone?

There's been a little talk of spring and gardening on a list I am on.  It's hard to believe it is right around the corner - I hope it comes as quickly as the other months have moved on by.  I have a book on gardening for kids that I want to take advantage of - it is full of neat projects that are just perfect for my boys and I to do this year.  I think container gardening would work well for us.  We have a nice-sized deck that is fairly empty except for a mini trampoline and a random toy or too. We certainly have room for a large garden plot but I don't know how realistic that is for me, a beginner, to try to accomplish. I know for sure we'll find a good sunny spot and grow some tomatoes. At our old house we had lots of shade and never had good success with them - I can't wait to give it a go this year!!

Need Popcorn?

What do you do when it is four o'clock in the morning and you've already read all of your email? You work on link assignments and try to figure out how to reasonably fit in a link for home theater popcorn machines. I could say that I would like one but really, I think it would take up to much room. My boys love popcorn and probably feel like it would be a great addition to our home. You can get one for as little as $189 - I think I will stick with the microwave variety; but think about how popular you would be when you had parties, LOL!

Eating Well

Dana recently told me about a Green Smoothie challenge that has me very interested.  I do know that I couldn't participate in a 30 day challenge but I am liking the recipes that I have seen and would like to work them into my menu.  I guess I would have to work my way past the green color but I doubt you can taste the spinach all that much when you have oranges and strawberries and the like.  We don't have a family insurance plan but the boys are covered - the hubby says that eating very well is kind of like his insurance policy. Well, not really - but I know what he means.

Jojo Did This and So Am I

60 Things You Possibly Didn't Know About Me

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Backpacks and papers

2. When was the last time you threw up
I think it was fifth grade, although there was the fur ball incident of 2005

3. What's your favorite curse word?
I don't curse. 0:)

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
my husband, my William, my Jon-Jon

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Emailing

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Starting the laundry

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Probably more laundry

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Not that I recall, heh.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"48" (Mom, what is 24 and 24?)

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Sugar Free Banana Split.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Sunny D

12. What are you wearing right now?
black pants, green top, navy crocs

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Last night I had some ice cream (see number 10)

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
I bought a new sweater with a gift certificate last weekend while in Nashville with my friends.

15. When was the last time you ran?
I was running around with the boys a couple of weeks ago

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
The Super Bowl, my first!

18. Who is the last person you emailed?
my girlfriends

19. Ever go camping?
Once

20. Do you have a tan?
Not a bit

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Yes (if in a cup)

25. What did your last IM say?
Mom: good

8:46 PM I'll let you go so you can put the boys to bed. give 'em hugs from grandma

 me: I will. Jonathan asked me if I was talking to Grandma! William says good night.

 Mom: (((Becky)))

 me: I love you! See you Saturday

 Mom: good night sweeties!

26. Are you someone's best friend?
I believe so

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
I am meeting a lot of my family in TN for lunch

28. Where is your mom right now?
In Tennessee

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
My living room window, and a cloudy rainy day

30. What color is your watch?
I don't have one.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Koala's

32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Probably not

33. What is your birthstone?
Diamond

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
both

35.How many kids do you want?
The two I have

36. Do you have a dog?
Not yet

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
my hubby

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Not really, a few local "well-knowns"

39. Any plans today?
Laundry and then...more laundry.

40. How many states have you lived in?
Two:  Tennessee and Alabama

41. Ever go to college?
Yes, did not graduate.  Wasn't really interested :(   

42. Where are you right now?
my living room couch

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
my health

44. Last song listened to?
Hmm...I don't know.

46. Are you allergic to anything?
I think I am probably allergic to dust - my sinus are wonky

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
my Crocks, for comfort

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
Yes

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
I doubt it.

51. What time is it?
9:18 am

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Yes

53. Do you eat healthily?
Yes, I do

54. What do you usually do during the day?
Clean, cook, school with kids

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
No.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Probably, if the phone rings

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
42

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yes (GA)

60. How did you get one of your scars?
When I was four, Elizabeth shut the car door on my finger and it had to practically be sewn back on.  I'll never get over it.  (I also have a c-section scar.

60 Things You Possibly Didn't Know About Me

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Backpacks and papers

2. When was the last time you threw up
I think it was fifth grade, although there was the fur ball incident of 2005

3. What's your favorite curse word?
I don't curse. 0:)

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
my husband, my William, my Jon-Jon

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Emailing

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Starting the laundry

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Probably more laundry

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Not that I recall, heh.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"48" (Mom, what is 24 and 24?)

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
Sugar Free Banana Split.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Sunny D

12. What are you wearing right now?
black pants, green top, navy crocs

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Last night I had some ice cream (see number 10)

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
I bought a new sweater with a gift certificate last weekend while in Nashville with my friends.

15. When was the last time you ran?
I was running around with the boys a couple of weeks ago

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
The Super Bowl, my first!

18. Who is the last person you emailed?
my girlfriends

19. Ever go camping?
Once

20. Do you have a tan?
Not a bit

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Yes (if in a cup)

25. What did your last IM say?
Mom: good

8:46 PM I'll let you go so you can put the boys to bed. give 'em hugs from grandma

 me: I will. Jonathan asked me if I was talking to Grandma! William says good night.

 Mom: (((Becky)))

 me: I love you! See you Saturday

 Mom: good night sweeties!

26. Are you someone's best friend?
I believe so

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
I am meeting a lot of my family in TN for lunch

28. Where is your mom right now?
In Tennessee

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
My living room window, and a cloudy rainy day

30. What color is your watch?
I don't have one.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Koala's

32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Probably not

33. What is your birthstone?
Diamond

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
both

35.How many kids do you want?
The two I have

36. Do you have a dog?
Not yet

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
my hubby

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Not really, a few local "well-knowns"

39. Any plans today?
Laundry and then...more laundry.

40. How many states have you lived in?
Two:  Tennessee and Alabama

41. Ever go to college?
Yes, did not graduate.  Wasn't really interested :(   

42. Where are you right now?
my living room couch

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
my health

44. Last song listened to?
Hmm...I don't know.

46. Are you allergic to anything?
I think I am probably allergic to dust - my sinus are wonky

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
my Crocks, for comfort

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
Yes

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
I doubt it.

51. What time is it?
9:18 am

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Yes

53. Do you eat healthily?
Yes, I do

54. What do you usually do during the day?
Clean, cook, school with kids

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
No.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Probably, if the phone rings

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
42

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Yes (GA)

60. How did you get one of your scars?
When I was four, Elizabeth shut the car door on my finger and it had to practically be sewn back on.  I'll never get over it.  (I also have a c-section scar.

Friday Felicities - Things That Make Me Happy!

Family Togetherness

Tomorrow my side of the family is getting together tomorrow. There is no particular reason, we have just recently decided that we were going to try to do that more often. We are meeting at lunch at a local place in TN and are getting their "party room"(no tsa locks needed!) because when our family gets together it is a party - in size anyway, LOL!! I have no idea what to do afterwards, since I don't live there, someone else needs to invite us all over!! I think next month we are going to shoot for a girls only get together, that will be fun!

This and...That

My hubby has been out of town for a couple of days and everything just feels out of sync around here. Yesterday Jonathan wasn't feeling well and even had a bit of a fever. We just stayed at home and laid around.  Today I have a TON of laundry to do, I hate it when I let it build up but it was cold and I didn't want to deal with going outside to the laundry room.  LOL, don't I sound pitiful? Do you need any Sports Authority coupons? Just thought I would ask (heh).

A Time To Exercise

I'm thinking that I need a treadmill so I could exercise whenever I wanted to day or night. However, spring really is right around the corner and I'll be able to get outside more and move around. I am needing to rethink my exercise needs. The first time I found out I had gout, it took me a good 2 weeks for all of the pain to leave. By that time, I exercised once or twice and I had another flareup. Thankfully the pain, while bad the first day, didn't last as long. I need to just be active and move around - very low impact - I'm not sure I can do aerobics anymore.

During School Yesterday

Jonathan:  Eight plus one is nine.
Me:  That's right, it is!
Jonathan:  I'm a genius!

(I kid you not!)

Death of a Six-Foot Teddy Bear Blog Tour

Another murder mystery for the Bargain Hunters Network–only this time, one of them is a suspect!

Ginger and her husband, Earl, are in for a wild ride in Calamity, Nevada, along with the other BHN ladies–college student Kindra, mother-of-four Suzanne, and sassy senior Arleta. They came to town for the Invention Expo and some outlet shopping, but instead they endure lost luggage, broken air conditioning, and a long line of people angry at hotel owner Dustin Clydell. With the Invention Expo and the Squirrel Lovers’ convention both in town, the Wind-Up Hotel has somehow overbooked.

Before the night is over, a man has been found dead in a teddy bear costume, the Invention Expo has been canceled, Binky the water-skiing squirrel has gone missing…and the authorities want to talk to one of the BHN ladies! What else could possibly go wrong?

Once again, the Bargain Hunters Network swings into sleuth mode to solve the murder–and this time, clear one of their own. Along the way, Ginger discovers something even better than a bargain.

Death of a Six-Foot Teddy Bear by Sharon Dunn - a book to read after washing dishes, just turn off the kitchen faucets first.

My Son...The Painter?

My husband is a painter and while his work clothes are covered in paint and sometimes sheet rock, he keeps his equipment and his van very neat.  There's one thing that he often forgets to do when he gets home and that is to lock his van.  This past week Jonathan, who is very into tools and interested in everything his Daddy does, got into the van and discovered a brand new gallon of paint ready to go for a job the next day.  He was able to open the can himself, which his Daddy says, is quite a feat!  He is still discovering places that Jonathan painted...days later!  (It was latex and came off with water)

Tonight...I Pack!

Tomorrow is going to be a big day for me!  We have Friday school and it is also the day of, as Jonathan calls it, the big Valentine's Party!  During the lunch hour they will have all sorts of food and drink and party stuff, afterwards they will exchange Valentine's with their friends.  As soon as school is over at 1:30, we will head home and soon after Ashley and I are heading to Nashville to meet up with some of the other W@H.  I can't wait!!

A New Book

I'm participating in a blog tour for the book "How to Get Your Husband to Listen To You" by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grigsby that was released Janusary 15th.  This book is not about changing a man's way of thinking - rather, it teaches women how to initiate healthy communication and enjoy the blessing of a husband who wants to listen.  The reader will discover specific ways to:

• Understand what their husbands really want (and it might not be what they think!)
• Rebuild love and respect in their marriages
• Become a wife whose husband wants her insights
• Strengthen communication in marriage through their communication with God
• Give their husbands the desire to listen to their needs, their words, and their hearts
• Help their husbands value what they say and how they say it

I've loved what I have read so far and am enjoying working my way through it.

Saving Money Works For Me

I hate it when my printer runs out of ink.  I hate it even worse when my computer isn't working.  My desktop computer will not turn on (I think it is the power source) so I am only able to use my laptop.  Normally that is okay but if I want to print anything, I'm in a bind.  I usually email myself anything I want to print and then go to the desktop to print it.  I've been making do without it but it is a bummer.  My hubby says when we need to get the ink that he knows of a place that you can take the inkjet cartridges to get them refilled thus saving money.  Have any of you ever done this?  I'm a bit skeptical but I'm willing to try it once to see if it is really less.

Inspiration (Thanks Kim!)

My Guys

Valentine Parties

OK, one more post this morning and I promise it has nothing to do with cat furniture. This post is more of a request for information. Next Friday my boys have a Valentine's party at Friday school. During lunch we have refreshments to go along with whatever sandwich we bring. After that, the students exchange valentine's. There's not really more than 20 students that will be participating and I want to do something special. I personally don't want to wait till Thursday afternoon to buy Shrek valentine's to hastily sign for them to give to their friends. They also need to (decorate) a Valentine box. Any ideas for that? Any of it?? I would love to do something for the Mom's too but I just don't know what I will get done! I would LOVE ideas!!

Lazy Days of...Winter?

Today is a lazy day - if you could see my hubby right now you would wonder if I need any life insurance quotes. I mean he is out! We were going to be so productive today but that is going down the drain! Maybe after lunch!! Things are really in pretty good shape around here we just want to get some preparations for tomorrow out of the way. You know what I mean - the Sunday morning rush! What's going on in your part of the world.

I Want A Nano

I have already decided what I want for my birthday - another iPod!!  I just don't like the mp3 player that I bought to replace my iPod that was damaged.  I told my hubby today that with a little budgeting and planning I thought I could afford one by my birthday (and by using my Best Buy gift card).  I loved my 30gb iPod but I know now that I don't have to have one that big.  I'm thinking of a Nano.  Dick says he could use my the mp3 player I have now so everyone would be a winner!  Yay!

I Love Juicing Carrots

Wize is a website that ranks all sorts of products and shows you where you can find the best price for that item.  If you look up juicers, the one that ranks the highest is the very juicer that I have.  I can see where it would be helpful to find all the information you can before buying juicers because I have owned two and, believe me, juicers are not created equal!

I really like the Wize site because along with their rankings of products, you can also read comments from other buyers to see what they think of the product.  The juicer I have is a Champion and I love it - it is heavy duty but it is not industrially expensive (just thought I would throw that in there).  I actually was thinking about juicing last night - I love how juicing carrots makes me feel.  I'll be honest, I'm not always 100% thrilled with the taste but you can't beat the benefits.

Friday Felicities

Felicities are things that make you happy!

1. Early morning talks with God.
2. Little boy cuddles, even at 6am.
3. Suisse Mocha International Foods Coffee (naturally decaffeinated and sugar free!).
4. My hubby having work all week!
5. My hubby giving himself a raise!
6. One week from today Ashley and I get to see Sara, Dana, Jojo, Skipper (gosh I will miss the other 6!)
7. Little boy haircuts that look good (my mom gave them this time)
   

My Medical Report

I had a doctor's appointment this week.  I didn't have a bad report, but I didn't really have a good report either.  I had protein in my urine (is that TMI?) and the doctor said he really thought it was due more to my diabetes rather than the kidney disease so he increased the amount of meds I am taking for my blood sugar.  My Ha1c was actually better than last time but my doctor wants even tighter control so that is what we are going for.

My bad cholesterol was not good or should I say it was bad?  I still haven't figured out all of the cholesterol numbers.  My diet has improved so much so I was disappointed that it wasn't better.  My doctor reassured me that sometimes it isn't anything we do or don't do - it is simply genetics.  I am trying to accept that rather than feel guilty...which I do a lot.  He told me that my triglycerides were down and that was good - and tried to encourage me to keep doing what I was doing.

My creatine levels basically stayed the same - which is the thing I was worried about.  I didn't really have a reason to worry about it - no symptoms or anything - but I did anyway.  It only rose by a couple of tenths.  My best defense there is to have plenty of water intake.  So there you have it - is it more than you wanted to hear?  :)

A Really Dumb Post About Socks

Do you have a sock basket?  I remember we had one at our house when I was a kid.  I don't know why but I really hated it when it was my turn to get the sock basket and match socks.  There is four of us girls and we had all different types and colors of socks. 

Maybe it is because I didn't care for the sock basket that I don't have one now.  Maybe it is easy for me because I have boys and their socks are all the same color.  I don't know, I just know I like the fact that I don't have a never ending, never quite finished basket of socks to match.  Like I said, a really dumb post about socks...now you know what I sit around thinking about!

Book Giveaway

My friend Valerie is not giving away a barebones computer but she is giving away a copy of the book "Reluctant Stranger" by Jill Elizabeth Nelson.  It is a Christian fiction thriller that I am sure you guys would enjoy a lot - it reminds me a bit of the tv show Alias.  Go by Valerie's blog and tell her Becky sent you!!  The giveaway ends tomorrow and she hardly has any entrants yet so hurry, hurry!!  You might just be a winner!!

This | That | Tuesday

Today went by in a flash!  I left the house at about 7:15 to have some blood work done.  My poor, small veins got poked four times before they were able to get some blood.  Since I was in my old neighborhood, I headed over to the rec center to vote.

My parents came around lunch time and watched the boys while I went to my 1pm doctor's appointment for a follow up on my food and get blood work results.  My mom repaired my awful haircut when I got home and gave both boys a haircut.

Dick's dad had bypass surgery this morning.  We got a call around 2 letting us know that he was in recovery and doing well - and that he had five by-passes.

I'm Going To See My Friends Soon

I am looking forward to February 15th when I will see my W@H girlfriends - the original administrators of W@H (I don't know how else to differentiate).  We are meeting up at Nashville where we had our first W@H meeting.  Sadly, not all of us will get to be there this year and that is a big bummer and with Nattie not being there, it will be an especially big hole in our heart.  One thing we know, though, we'll make the most of our time together and get in lots of hugs and laughs.  Friends are a special blessing in this life - and I plan to not take a one of them for granted!!

Lay It Down

I've been lookin' till my eyes are tired of lookin'
Listenin' till my ears are numb from listenin'
Prayin' till my knees are sore from kneelin' on the bedroom floor
I know that you know that my heart is achin'
I'm running out of tears and my will is breakin'
I don't think that I can carry the burden of it anymore
All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans,
Are slowly slippin' through my folded hands

So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust You now
What else can I do
Everything I am depends on You
And if the sun don't come back up
I know Your love will be enough
I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go,
I'm gonna lay it down.

I've been walkin' through this world like I'm barely livin'
Buried in the doubt of this hole I've been diggin'
But You're pullin' me out
I'm finally breathin' in the open air
This room may be dark but I'm finally seein'
There's a new ray of hope, and now I'm believin'
That the past is past, and the future's beginning to look brighter now
Oh, cause all of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are safe and secure when I place them in Your hands

So I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna learn to trust You now
Oh what more can I do,
Cause everthing I am depends on You
And if the sun don't come back up
You know Your love will be enough
I'm gonna let it be, I'm gonna let it go,
I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna lay it down
I'm gonna lay it down.

Fancy Feet

There are a lot of different individual forums on our Women At Home message board - there is something for everyone!!  On the beauty board, Cheri has issued a challenge for February to get our feet ready for spring.  I am usually one who goes for quick results and if I can't get them, I usually don't bother. That's what I call "stinking thinking!"

So, I am actually making this a project until I see results!  The night before last I slathered vaseline on my feet before bed and covered them with socks.  Today after my shower I covered them with coconut kiwi scented body butter (and socks again).  If nothing else, they smell divine!  I am seeing that taking time out to do little things like that for myself really does make a difference in the way I feel.  Like I'm worth it or something!

By the way, if you haven't checked out the message board, why don't you stop by sometime this week and visit?  There are a lot of friends just waiting for you!

Today I Am Dealing With...

the fact that although I live in area where I know many people, I don't really have relationships with them.  I'm not content to stay in this place but I'll admit I am still trying to figure out a solution.  I don't like being invisible.